Even the best fall down some time.

Been nominated to be the Best Of Empire is not as good as I thought. Now some people look and treat me differently which is totally weird because now I am suppose to be the Best when actually there is so many areas I still sux in this field of work. I think I rather be the silent best to myself in ways I choose than having everyone know I was nominated for this award. Please please please, don't let me win it cause I'm afraid its gonna be tremendous pressure. As a measurement of sucess is not measured by an individual but from the collective effort of everyone that he have work with or for. I felt all it does is alienate me from everyone else and all of a sudden there is so much expectation.

The Great Expectation. Sound like the movie huh? Suddenly and silently I, an ordinary grease monkey of the Empire is expected to be very "Gen" and "A Model" to the Empire request and requirement. I am but a rebel to the system most of the time even if I appear to follow it. Just today, I was working in my ordinary joe way with paper work and some actually said "Hey man, you are the Best Of Empire and you better don't do this paperwork this way or you screw up big time!" Gosh...this is how I always do it and does been nominated to be the Best Of Empire got to do with how I handle my paper work? My most frank and direct reply to that person was "I never ask to be nominated the first place". I don't want to end up like one guy I knew who was up there but never loveable amount his peers. I rather be the ordinary grease monkey, loveable amount colleagues and competent in aircraft technical work.

I think I have to cool down abit, maybe I am just thinking too much about undue pressure. Life goes on as normal, I still give my usual output of effort and recieve my usual input of salary, Performance bonus, Mid year bonus and year end bonus. I gonna pretend that I was not even nominated at all and work per normal. Life feel much better than way when I give myself the pressure and not others. Do appreciate whoever up there who is pushing for that nomination, I thank you for that and is of course grateful. However one thing for sure, I still work the way I use to be, my way, my style and my area of responisbility...nothing more nothing less and no fancy extra.

Will be glad to give up that prestigious nomination to one of my Encik or one of my Staff Sergent who made more sacrifice than me. I am a timekeeper, always watching the clock for End Of The Day to get back home and type senseless blog, totally no sacrifice from me. Well, giving me more bonus might be a better way to show that appreciation!!! hahaha....at less no one know how much I get in extra.

Everything I do, I do it to just hold the fort like many others in this Empire. Satifsfying Achievement? Well, I think a 8mins 50secs 2.4km IPPT timing today is one of those things I find satisfying in my life than any nomination.